Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
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Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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