So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
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Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
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Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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