My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
