never play flip cup with pint glasses
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Your penis caused this!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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