so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
