I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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