this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
