Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
