I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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