Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.