it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not