So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?