nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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