Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
