Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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