He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
