So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
