I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
