I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
