Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
