Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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