I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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