Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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