Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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