SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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