Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
