Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
