No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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