we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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