My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
