Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
