no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
