do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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