I puked a lego.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
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People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library