id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
