It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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