Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
