you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
