Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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