so that wasnt chicken after all
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
