but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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