have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
