was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
