just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
