Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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