I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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