It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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