Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
