It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize