Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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