We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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