just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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