Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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