i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
