U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
