you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
my poor anus
My vagina is very pro this idea
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
