Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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