but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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