dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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