Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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