Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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